A Bible and a fruit bowl.

If any one knows me, they know that fruit is one of my all time favorite creations, I could live off of it. It is literally one of the greatest things in the world. I also love the Lord and His word so here is a blog about both of these things:

I am going to try my best to make sense and be clear but I am not the best writer so I apologize before hand. Anywho…

When you think about God you think about love, well I do anyways. Gods love is eternal and unconditional, he is like the best Dad ever, He never leaves you and He is the wisest of the wise. Now, what do you think about when you think about a marriage or a relationship? When I think about these things I pretty much think of the american dream, cute house, dark tall and handsome husband and a house full of beautiful kids, but I also think of God. These days I haven’t been seeing God in many relationships and its heartbreaking. When I think of marriage I think of a God centered ever lasting love. When I get married I want to pray with my husband, serve with him, encourage him, love him but most importantly..I want to grow in Christ with him.I want to do all those things with him before we are married. I want to know that he is going to be a leader to me and to the children we may someday have. Nothing is going to be more important that what the Lord has willed for us to do. Marriage to me is so sacred and seeing people just throw it away over petty things breaks my heart. Love God, Love your family. Forgive as God forgives you. Till death do us part. 
I’m not sure why this has been on my heart lately but I think that is what makes a real relationship and I hope that everyone gets a chance to see what that is through Christ.

Anyways about the fruit bowl and the bible, I would totally love for my future husband to propose to me with a fruit bowl and a bible with my name on it but with his last name instead and the ring tied to the ribbon bookmark..so stinkin’ precious, I know! 

Unfading Beauty

Too many times have I heard myself say that I’m not pretty enough, smart enough, fun enough, skinny enough….all of these terrible thoughts run through my head probably daily. And its not that I don’t think I’m pretty or that I don’t have confidence, I do…sometimes. But I have never think that I am good enough. I guess this comes with being a girl, insecurities come with birth. 

Growing up I hung out with the pretty girl, the girls who I think are beautiful. My best friend is literally the epitome of beauty, she is always full of joy and always smiling no matter what and can get any guy that she would ever want to date. (though she would deny that last part, it’s true.)She’s funny and has no embarrassment, she can talk to anyone, me the other hand, I am as shy as can be. I’m like a baby when it comes to meeting new people. It’s almost terrifying to me because I worry too much about what they will think. And I am almost positive everyone that meets me for the first time thinks I am the most awkward girl in the world. which is true Growing up with her and always being the girl in the background gets a little tough, and as much as you don’t really want that creepy guy to tell you that you’re beautiful and hit on you, a little part of you wants it to. It’s acceptance, everyone wants to feel it. She is also super skinny, I am not so much. I pretty much have a black girls body, but I’m white. I’m not skinny or fat. I don’t know what I am. It wasn’t until recently that we started wearing the same size jeans…I have prayed for that day for years. 

Comparing myself to her and all of my other friends is something that I have always struggled with. I put myself down when a boy doesn’t like me or when I get turned down. I blame myself with the I’m not _________ enough. As of today though, I am going to stop that…or try to at least. 

God made me good enough for everything. HE ONLY MAKES BEAUTIFUL THINGS! If I could just get that through my thick stubborn head I would be good to go. One day God is going to bless me with the man I have waited so long to meet and he will be thrilled to know that no creeper hit on me while growing up. My beauty to him will not compare to any other womans. God has a plan for this plain jane. I should have confidence because God made me, and He does not make ugly things. And thats also for all you other girls out there too. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. We are daughters of the most high King. What’s not to love about us? Our beauty comes from our love for the Lord, it comes from within. That beauty will never go away, not even when we’re old and wrinkly. It’s time to embrace it. Fully. 

 

“You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gently and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” 1 Peter 3:4

Romantic Comedy

Have you ever woken up one morning and thought that there is no way that the night you had just had or something that had happened didn’t happen? Like it was too good or bad to have ever happened? It doesn’t happen very often, but its happened to me quite a few times.
When the good things happen its like the best feeling ever. Like you wake up and think this is too good to be real. But you know it is! but its also like its too good to be true, which in my case is what happens most of the time. Unfortunately, but I also feel blessed when it happens.
I always wanted my life to be like a movie, a romantic comedy mostly. Those moments when I feel like I am not in reality are like movie moments and even though they may hurt me in the end I secretly love them.
I just decided today though to give those moments up to God.  By giving those moments up my emotions won’t get involved as much and I can just look at it like this cool, thanks God for this cool.moment/hang out.
I feel like this blog is kinda pointless and is not in order and probably doesn’t make sense but I wanted to write about it.

“Think about the world you carry in your heart.”

Think about the world you carry in your heart. My friend told me this quote yesterday and it has stuck with me. And I have been thinking about the world I carry in my heart. It’s a pretty big world.
Some people in that world don’t know how much they mean to me, that they make my heart smile and hurt at the same time but all that doesn’t really matter. Because, I still love them, every single person that is in my heart I care for a great bit.

The world I carry in my heart are all the people and things that I love more than anything. If I think about it the hierarchy of my life would be; God, family, friends, work, school. I know that school should be higher, but school doesn’t have feelings or anything super super super important to me. Yes, I think education is important I just feel like people should come first. Love God, Love people.

I have thought about this quote for pretty much the entire last 24 hours, it has made me realize a lot and who I really care for and love and why.
What world do you carry in your heart?

Promenade.

Prom was my favorite thing about High School. I loved it more than anything. There is just something about dressing up that nice and feeling that beautiful that made me feel like the prettiest girl alive. The only thing that sucked was that my high school only had a senior prom, lame. But I was lucky enough to get to go again the year after I graduated, although that prom turned into a disaster.

The first year I went to Prom was my senior year of high school, I didn’t have a date so I ended up going with my friends cousin who also did not have a date, his nickname was Sneezy. The pictures went well, dinner went well and then off to the warehouse where our prom was held we went. My date did not want to dance, and if any of you know me the slightest, you know that I absolutely love to dance. Anytime, anywhere. I stood around for a little bit but then I just had to get out there and dance my heart out. Senior prom was pretty good, but I wish I would have had an awesome date that would have danced all night with me.
The second year I went to prom, I wore a light blue polka dot dress with a huge bow on the back of it. I LOVED it. I also gained weight after I had bought it and it didn’t fit as good as it did at the day of the purchase. Well, we got all of out pictures taken and went to dinner and in the middle of dinner I felt my zipper come undone…that was the worst feeling ever. I got my dates jacket and went into the bathroom. I don’t know  if I asked Devan to come with me or texted her when I got in there but my dress would not zip back up, no matter what we tried. After a while, Patrick came in and tried to fix it, he even went to walgreens and bought a sewing kit to try and put it back together, but no such luck happened. I finally called my Mom and told her what happened and she showed up at the restaurant with about 5 prom dresses so I could still go to prom. It was terrible. I never want to go back.

To the exciting news about prom, I am getting the chance to go back! Kind of. One of my best friends for her birthday is making it prom themed, because her birthday is during prom season. We are going to get ready prom style, prom dresses and all, take pictures before dinner and go to dinner in a limo.  I am super excited to get that dressed up again and possibly have an awesome date!  Some people may think this is a lame idea but I think it is awesome and I can’t wait to celebrate prom style with my friends!

The 14th of February, 2012.

I contemplated blogging about today about 5 times until I just decided to write one.
Today was probably one of the best Valentines Day ever, considering I had no Valentine and that I had a test in one of my classes.
So, for Valentines my best friend Devan and I decided that we were just going to do something together. We went to Papa Murphys and got a heart shaped pizza. My half had pepperoni and black olives and her half had pineapple, ham, and bacon. After we ate our pizza we tried to make cupid and heart shaped cookies but they turned into blobs while in the oven. Never the less we still decorated them when they were done. ( I am not sure if “never the less” is the right phrase for that sentence, but I wanted to use it. )
After we emotionally ate too much food we just lounged and called Sang. It was during that phone call that Sang gave me one of the best compliments I have ever recieved and I wanted to cry. But I didn’t.
I left Devans and on my way home I was just thinking how good today was abd thinking how excited I was to go to sleep. Little did I know that there was a surprise waiting for me at home. It was the simplest thing and it also mademe want to cry. But I didn’t.
I walked into my room and on my desk was a little heart with 10 dollars inside and it said “I love you – Mom” Just that little thing meant so much to me, my Mom is stinkin’ awesome. I still can’t get over it. And that little Valentine reminded me of my Dad. Every year I would go to his house and he would have some chocolate and a cute little Valentines day trinket of some sort and of course he always gave me money. (can we say spoiled? yeah I totally was) But thinking back on it all that matters to me now is how much love was put into it.
My Dad was not a man of many words but the little things he did showed how much he loved us. There is a quote from the movie Up where Russel (the little boy) was talking about his Dad and he said that he missed the boring stuff the most. That quote hits me so hard, because its true. Thoe boring little trinkets, those weekends where I did nothing but hang out at his house, watching tv with him when I had nothing else to do, just being in his company at all. I miss it, but this isn’t a sad post! One of my favorite things to do is remember my Dad and the things he did for me, and my Mom reminded me of that with her simple little Valentine made with love.
I love my parents. They are awesome people in totally different ways. I am so blessed to have the friends that I have and the parents I have.
I know Valentines day is pretty much over but tell your loved ones how much they mean to you because if I could ever tell my Dad one more time I would. Also thank God for everyone in your life cause you know they are awesome in their own little way.

1 Corinthians 13:7-8
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

I never knew how to start this and I guess today is better than never. I still don’t exactly know how to start this blog so I’m just going to write what I have been thinking today.
I read someones blog last night and they explained what their profile on eharmony would look like and that got me thinking..what would mine look like. Honestly, if I told the truth it would be a hot mess.
Here is an example:

Shelby Toombs.
Average height, brown hair, brown/green eyes, short legs, tiny hands.
has a heart for children
loves Jesus
Would be perfectly okay with staying in and watching Harry Potter, Glee, New Girl or How I met Your Mother.
Awkward
loves sour patch kids candy
Doesn’t know how to handle most situations
wears heart on her sleeve
Daydreamer
Ignores things/situations that she thinks would be awkward
tries to run away from her problems, but they always catch up
fearful of all guys who try to pursue her.

^^^ hot mess, most of it anyways. I am so blessed to have the love of Christ who accepts me in all of my failures and fears and loves me unconditionally. I know I have a ton of stuff to work on, but then again, who doesn’t? I guess what I am getting at is that I am so ready to learn so much more about my Father and the love that he has for me.

This year for me is most definitely a learning year, already I have been shown so much, even if I didn’t want to see it. That’s one thing I love about God, even if it hurts He’s still going to show you what to do if you ask him and then He’ll cover you with his peace.

I feel like none of this makes sense..but this is my first blog so hopefully it will get better!